Where is our Danny Dyer apology? Kieran Davies looks at a week of Championship madness and Kante-shaped holes.
So you hate your job. You want to be somewhere else. Your boss has become more and more of a dickhead and every day when you first glance at the clock on your computer it always says 09:02! What’s the answer? Ask your employer to find you somewhere nicer to work with more money? Refuse to do your job until they find you one? Go on strike? No, of course not because this is the real world and you would eventually get escorted out of said job and wouldn’t be able to claim as you got dismissed! Yet we all work to live mainly to spend our free time watching the beautiful game, our beloved clubs! Yet all we get to see are the latest players at our clubs throwing tantrums because they’ve hit a bit of form and want to go to other clubs! The world of football is such an alternate reality to our day to day grind it infuriates fans up and down the country. Maybe the contracts and employment laws of all of our mundane jobs should be applied to the footballing world. I’m sure we can all think of at least three players at our clubs we would quite happily sack, foregoing any potential transfer fee but taking their wages off the bill immediately. Personally, I can think of that many Herr Klopp would have the biggest cull of humans since 194…….too soon? Still?
Meanwhile to appease your detest for having to go into your job every day, there was the little pick me up story of how your taxes have funded West Ham’s new home. All those millions these clubs have at their disposal and who paid for it, us! Olympic legacy my arse! I think Danny Dyer and Russell Brand should have to go to every house in the country and apologise to each tax paying individual in that house. Maybe also have David Gold publicly admit live on TV that he is the long lost twin brother of Alan Sugar who was ousted out of the home when Alan pawned his mum’s rings to set up his first stall and framed David. He was then fostered out to the Gold family of Peckham. Thankfully the Paul Pogba saga is being dragged out longer than Kate and Gerry McCann’s holiday to Portugal. ‘You couldn’t help but love a girl like Maddie!’ But not enough to want to take her to a restaurant with you! If this deal does come to fruition it’s a mammoth spend on a raw(ish) talent. Salivating Man Utd fans will be dreaming a trophy laden season after this transfer window! Hopefully their game against Everton in Wayne Rooney’s testimonial won’t be a glimpse into their fortunes as they looked dire. It is pre-season this we have to remember, it’s the business end where it counts.
Jose Mourinho will lead his Manchester United side out at Wembley for the charity shield against Ranieri’s Leicester. It’s always a strange curtain raiser this one as people stay quiet about how much they want to win it before the game then after the game the losers ridicule the ‘Mickey Mouse trophy’ while the winners tell anyone willing to listen that its ‘their year’. Whatever your view this is the first competitive game of the season and it will be interesting to see how United line up with all their new signings and how Leicester play with a Kante shaped hole in their midfield. Defensively, there was strength as a unit with Leicester last season. No individual, stand out stars, but a group that played for each other and were a strong unit. Has Ranieri managed to keep that after all their success and upheaval? Jamie Vardy will need to put all thoughts of ‘what could’ve been’ out of his head and needs to replicate his form from last season for sure. Will Mourinho play his trademark two defensive midfielders in front of a back four? Given the ousting of Schweinsteiger, have United got two players capable of playing the role for their manager? Ibrahimovic scored a lot of goals for PSG last season but Ligue 1 is a poor standard. Can he do it at a wet, cold and blustery Britannia Stadium on a Wednesday night in December? Time will tell. There’s a lot of questions to be answered for both of these club’s fans. Let’s hope this proves to be a spectacle for neutrals and fans alike.
The lower leagues kick off this weekend and although we seem to say it every season, these leagues could be the strongest and most competitive they have ever been. For me, in The Championship, the parachute payments relegated clubs from the Premier League give them an unfair advantage in the transfer market. It seems to be an agreement on the payments that one of the three relegated clubs has to sign Ross McCormack. Aston Villa stepped up to the plate this time. There is money at other clubs too. Cardiff City, Nottingham Forest and Wolves all have wealthy owners now. Cue those clubs being linked to every crazy transfer out there. Wolves have already been linked to making a £30m signing. Madness! Newcastle have managed to retain a lot of the side that played a part in the fated Premier League campaign and more importantly, keeping Rafa Benitez as their manager! He has added a few signings, strengthening their bid to go back up at the first attempt like they did last time. If they draw crowds of 50,000+ every time they play at home in this league, they deserve their Premier League place just for that level of passion and commitment from the fans. More importantly, back on Saturday after is Jeff Stelling and the boys! The emotional rollercoaster of another season of highs, lows and anger of another season following your team!
