Lowly Peterborough United are delighted to announce the imminent arrival of a clutch of talented Man Utd youngsters on extended loan deals.

Del Boy impressionist Barry Fry, Director of Football at London Road, exclusively told the Cutter, ‘Its a great day for us and everyone at the club is in a right old two and eight. Future England internationals, young lads with bags of potential, will be gracing our humble little acre of mud. We basically get to cherry-pick the very best up-and-coming players that the greatest club in the world has to offer’.

He then attempted to sell us some Chinese alarm clocks that tell the time backwards from a battered suitcase.

Peterborough are currently lying in the play-off positions in League One and looking to re-establish themselves in the Championship next term after a previous disastrous spell there under a piss-poor manager.

It’s believed that the injection of youthful promise will give them a huge advantage over their promotion rivals.

In further – entirely unrelated news – Darren Ferguson is set to be reappointed manager of Peterborough at a press conference this morning.