The good Brummie folk of the Midlands were perplexed last night at the arrival of a mysterious silver object that arrived seemingly from nowhere.
Dumb-struck members of the public gathered in their droves to Birmingham Town Hall to witness first-hand this unusual phenomenon that stands at a mere foot half in height and is entirely clad in shiny silver metal. To add to the confusion someone – or something – has attached blue ribbons to the sides.
Confounded Brum lady Glenda Daniel confided to us – whilst visibly backing away in fear from the strange entity – ‘I think it’s a small space probe. Those aliens are a very clever bunch and won’t come down themselves until they know that Earth is safe to visit. Or at least is habitable. I bet at some point eyes will appear like that female pod in Wall-E’.
Fairground worker Nathan Moorhouse was equally mystic in his assessment.
‘I’ve heard that it contains magical healing qualities. Someone suggested that I rub my psoriasis-addled skin onto it but when I got up close and rolled up my sleeve a council employee shooed me away. The thing looks bostin’ though to be fair’.
A typical reaction yesterday to the arrival of the strange unknown object.
The artefact is mounted on a black heavy base and has elaborate ornamental engravings on the metalwork. It is hollow, like a large goblet, yet unusually has three handles.
It is not yet known how, or why, it has appeared in the city that, over the years, has given us Crossroads, Jasper Carrott and friendly, but stupid, sounding people.
Counsellor David Hopkin shared his theory with us.
‘I believe it’s an Egyptian relic, possibly discovered by a local shy archaeologist’, he mused, clearly agog at the wonderfully polished thing. ‘I noticed that there is wording on the ribbons. Perhaps Carling was an ancient deity of some sort?’
As we chatted an elderly chap tried to intervene to inform us that it was in fact a football trophy and that he could vaguely recall a similar trinket being bestowed to the region some fifty years ago. But being old and a bit doddery nobody paid much attention to him.
