ARSENAL (HOME)
An already simple classic has been stripped back further still of detail to commemorate their 125th anniversary. The bandings around the neck and arms have gone and a laurel now envelops the badge. 8/10
(THIRD KIT?)
We are yet to determine if this top is a fake or Arsenal’s forthcoming third kit. Either way we decided to feature it here because it’s quite beautiful. 8/10
CHELSEA (HOME)
A regression back to the days when flashiness ruled over understatement. This top owns a Dockside apartment, hires prostitutes to wear a powder-blue Thatcher dress, and screws over the common man daily with deals made on his brick-like phone.
Frustratingly there was hope for it – the shaded hoops are rather fetching – but it appears that some wide-boy has vomited over the arms. 4/10
LIVERPOOL (AWAY)
Subtle pinstriping and, as opposed to Chelsea’s monstrosity, an understated employment of the Adidas stripes.
We even quite approve of the use of the sponsors logo alongside their name – in our opinion it genuinely improves the look of the shirt – although we hope this does not become the norm elsewhere.
Overall a stylish success. It may even neutralise the sheer ugliness of the gargoyle Kuyt. 9/10
MAN UTD (HOME)
A combination of different styles that blends together very nicely. The new striking neck-band augments and enhances the overall retro feel whilst elsewhere there is strength in simplicity. 9/10
(AWAY)
We can only assume that Nike and United outsourced this design to the nineteen-nineties. The shaded pinstripes within the horizontal bar stripes are far too fussy and all of their fine work on the home kit has been disregarded or forgotten here with mistakes from the past dredged back up to result in this cheap and nasty affair.
Looks like a JJB ten quid training top for chavs. 2/10
NEWCASTLE (HOME)
Is it really wise to chunkify the stripes given that most of its wearers make Chris Moyles look like a bullemic waif?
The red full stop after Northern Rock, although quite apt if intended as a political statement, is just plain annoying but the Puma sign placed on the shoulder is always a nice touch. The only top in this feature that we are undecided about. Which actually boosts its rating and is regarded as a positive. 7/10
