We all believe we support a certain football club. But what if deep down that’s not the case at all? What if beneath all the brain-washing and nurtured propaganda implanted into our noggins our true natural leanings – our instinctive genetic make-up – leads us towards another club entirely? One a stones throw away from Shepherds Bush in London.
After QPR supporters’ premature promotion celebrations on Monday here are ten clues to determine whether you’re not actually a blue, red, or other. That you are in fact a natural hoop.
1/ Twenty-five minutes in to a gripping Eastenders episode you climb off the sofa and ask your missus if she fancies a brew.
2/ With just the final round to go of this years US Masters you ran into your local bookies, excitedly brandishing your slip, and shouting ‘Rory you little beauty!! Pay up you mugs!’
3/ You enjoy a tasty starter and delicious main course at a local restaurant. As you pay the bill you remember to pass on your compliments to the chef. Then walk out as the dessert trolley is being wheeled in.
4/ You splatter your love-goo at the sight of a bra-strap unclipping.
5/ When watching Se7en in the cinema you stand and applaud as the van slowly approaches Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman in the open mid-west plains.
‘He ordered flowers for them!! Oh that’s brilliant!! I never saw that coming’, you exclaim loudly to your fellow film-goers. Then you put on your coat and leave.
6/ You heartily scoff at the Mayan’s prediction that the world will end in December 2012. Why? Because you’re still here that’s why, so it must be guff.
7/ During a pub quiz you confidently answer the query ‘Who does Clive Tyldesley support?’ with ‘Bayern Munich’ due to the amount of times he refers to ‘that balmy night in Barcelona’.
8/ Although an avid purveyor of porn the term ‘money shot’ is completely lost on you.
9/ Upon seeing Don Mclean in concert you applaud enthusiastically as he departs the stage, wonder why people are still hanging around as you leave, then bemoan the fact that he didn’t play American Pie on the journey home.
10/ You write a letter to Liz Taylor back in March saying you’re a huge fan and delighted to hear that she appears to be on the mend.