It is currently being alleged in court that a woman named Susanne Ibru has been stalking Manchester United’s Rio Ferdinand by turning up at his Cheshire home late at night.

The Cutter however understands that Miss Ibru is in fact a hired stooge, paid by the camel-mouthed defender to force the clubs hand into beefing up protection after his actual tormentor, Italian hothead Mario Balotelli, continues to regularly visit the Ferdinand abode after midnight, ring the intercom, then manically wave his City shirt and wink into the security camera.

After the third consecutive night of being awoken by his final whistle nemesis an exasperated Ferdinand finally approached United personnel but was told to ‘grow some spuds and man-up’.

It is not believed to be the first instance of a United defender being given sleepless nights due to a City player. Gary Neville reputedly suffered from three weeks of nightmares featuring a beaming Shaun Goater back in 2002.

In further United news it is rumoured that Ryan Giggs has been thrown out of his family home.

A neighbour, a Miss Alison Loverat, exclusively told the Cutter, ‘I heard all sorts of screaming and shouting last night followed by an eerie silence. Then I distinctly heard his wife say, in a very level voice, ‘Ryan, you have been evicted from the Giggs house.’….then, probably thinking of the kids upstairs she added, ‘Please do not swear’’

‘I just cannot imogen how hard it must be for those poor children right now.’

Miss Loverat was sucking on a sweet when she said the last sentence and we can only assume she actually said ‘imagine’, not ‘Imogen’. Because that would be very wrong and libellous.