Rangers supporters are up in arms over allegations that they once again chanted sectarian songs during their recent Europa Cup second-leg clash with PSV Eindhoven.
The club were already facing punishment from UEFA for similar chants of archaic nonsense that bellowed like a stale beer-burp from the away end in the first tie, a charge that Gers fans freely admit to.
However, if these fresh allegations are eventually proven they face the possibility of playing some games behind closed doors next year.
Jockie ‘Mad Eyes’ Scott, the self-proclaimed leader of the Buckfast Boys, a respected branch of the Rangers Supporters trust, is adamant that the fans are entirely innocent on this occasion, and that, instead of songs of bigotry and hatred, Ibrox was actually rocking to Rebecca Black’s catchy ditty ‘Friday’.
We interviewed Jockie on Thursday but have been unable to publish it until today due to not understanding a single word he said. It was as if he had a mouth full of toffee and was quite angry about it. So, after sending the tape to a Professor of Linguistics at Airdrie University, we can now exclusively reveal what actually occurred that March evening.
Ironically, given our complete incomprehension to his phlegmy gibberish, it transpires that it was UEFA’s inability to understand the thick Glaswegian accents that has resulted in this unfortunate mix-up that could yet cost Rangers dearly.
The following explanation from Jockie has been translated for your convenience.
‘They could not understand us, you Kenneth? Those chaps at UEFA, those flipping big-wigs, were under the impression that the boys were singing about Bobby Sands, when in actual fact we were celebrating the idea of seeing our friends…not Sands….friends. You know, on the bus, kicking in the front seat, sitting in the back seat. They also said we self-deprecatingly referred to ourselves as ‘the hun’. Not true. For one thing, we would never do that! For another, we were actually chanting ‘fun, fun, fun’…because we were looking forward to the weekend.’
‘It’s such a shame, you know, little lad. We were only singing a harmless pop tune from the charts and we get accused of all this silly bother.’
‘As for claiming we were up to our knees in fenian blood….yeah, okay, they’ve got us bang to rights there.’
Last night the Cutter attempted to contact Jockie once again for some follow-up quotes but alas they do not possess telephones in the middle ages.