by David Sweeney

This week sees a heartless club, a hopeless commentator and a hapless manager rightly receiving a mauling, and what would a Monday mauling be without a mention for Fernando Torres who again looked promising before predictably pushing the self destruct button

David Moyes and his Everton side

It is perfectly acceptable for an inferior side to go and defend for their lives in order to obtain a hard-earned away point, Manchester City successfully did it away at Arsenal escaping the Emirates with a useful point. The difference between the way Manchester City did it is they did not try to time-waste or try to intentionally hurt opposing players unlike the way Everton set up for their trip to the Etihad Arena. Then their moronic manager David Moyes had the cheek to claim they were treated unfairly and place blame of City captain Vincent Kompany for a supposed stamp on Tim Cahill when in fact it was the Australian who maliciously tried to injure the big Belgium defender. Moyes claimed Kompany ‘did’ Cahill and complained about the nature of ‘some of the tackles out there’  Thankfully referee Howard Webb didn’t share Moyes’s opinion as Cahill’s two-footed lunge on Kompany earned the Aussie poetic justice and a yellow card.

In my eyes David Moyes has concocted his own version of events to act as a cover up for his own side’s inadequacies especially his own tactics, which were essentially to put every man behind the ball, constantly waste time and to kick the living daylights out of the magical David Silva which saw the Toffees amass five bookings which earns them a richly deserved fine from the FA.

A simple message of advice to Moyes should suffice: If you can’t take it, don’t dish it out

Craig Burley commentating on ESPN

What a disgrace Craig Burley is to commentating. The former Scottish international was even more inept than usual yesterday as he took the mic and attempted to give an unbias, fair and, most importantly considering his job title, interesting view of the game, giving us mere mortals an educated view that obviously this former footballing god can provide. It is accepted throughout football that United are a well liked club in the media and are often given kind reviews by well established journalists. However yesterday Burley took things to another level. When United were not awarded a penalty when a shot was dubiously blocked by a Stoke City arm in the second half Burley almost burst a blood vessel and it got even worse as he squirmed in the Brittania Stadium’s gantry as in the same move Michael Owen was correctly adjudged offside by the linesman who Burley branded as ‘clueless’. People in glass houses should not throw stones Craig. As if his dour tones don’t drag enough usually however seemingly distraught that United were heading for a very fair point he cringingly continued to bemoan the penalty that wasn’t given. The incident occurred around the 65th minuted and Burley considered it appropriate to ramble on continuously about the minor event for a further 12 minutes straight. He even deemed it acceptable to finish with a flourish by mentioning it at length again in the 88th minute. His terrible afternoon’s work deservedly ended with Burley getting a mauling from the cheeky Robbie Savage who poked fun at the blundering Scot who surely is stealing a living from ESPN.

Hopefully this spells the end of his involvement in football altogether.

Plymouth’s treatment of Peter Reid

A manager receiving the sack as his side lie bottom of the entire football league is not usually greeted with disapproval nor does it usually leave a bad taste in the mouth but when Plymouth sacked Peter Reid earlier in the week all that changed.

Pot-less Plymouth have been in administration for months with the players still unpaid for around four months wages leaving Reid with a demoralised playing squad half-heatedly doing their laboured best but only managing to amass one point from their opening nine games. In an attempt to  help of out when the crisis first hit, Reid paid the heating bill out of his own pocket. He also donated his 1986 FA Cup Final loser’s medal to be auctioned to help raise money for the club’s unpaid staff. A completely selfless act which was clearly under appreciated by the Plymouth board, particularly Peter Ridsdale who sacked Reid and then stated;

“Peter leaves with our unreserved thanks for his contribution in helping keep the club alive during this turbulent period and he leaves with our very best wishes for the future,” This brutal stab in the back was uncalled for as Reid had done a fair job trying to steady a sinking ship during an impossible time for the club. Just as it looks like Plymouth are about to be taken over the manager gets the bullet. It does not make any sense and seems unfair.

It has since emerged that Ridsdale will step down from Plymouth as soon as the club is taken over by James Brent. After he contributed immensely to Leeds United’s demise and the way he has harshly handled the Peter Reid sacking hopefully this spells the end of his involvement in football altogether.

Good luck Peter Reid the game will be a poorer place without your positive attitude and fierce competitiveness.

Fernando Torres

The roller coaster season endured by Fernando Torres so far has been picked up on heavily in my previous maulings. However it seems he cannot go a week without hitting the headlines for all the wrong reasons. Last week the Spanish striker made a promising start as he scored a goal before later blundering and it was the same story again this week. He expertly swivelled and drilled passed Michel Vorm in the Swansea goal and his all-round game seemed good, laying off passes with apparent ease and oozing with confidence. But again similarly to last week he let himself down with a reckless late two-footed lunge on Mark Gower in the 39th minute which could have seen the Swans midfielder badly injured. Thankfully he wasn’t but Torres rightly received his marching orders and with strike rival Didier Drogba later returning to action with a goal the silly Spaniard could find it hard to break back into the side after his three game suspension is over.