by David Sweeney

Today we look at two Premier League forwards who are badly out of shape and sorts, a fine goalkeeper who had an off day and a bizarre Black Cats saga which has left Steve Bruce in a Perilous position.

Fernando Torres

Everybody knows about Fernando Torres’s abysmal goalscoring record since he made the £50million British transfer record switch to Stamford Bridge from Anfield last January. Torres’s one goal in 22 games in a Chelsea shirt is not the only reason he is getting a mauling. Earlier in the week the Spanish misfirer bewilderingly found it appropriate to suggest that some of his ageing Chelsea team-mates are too slow to be successful in the Premier League. John Terry is thought to be one of the players Torres was not to happy with however the skipper showed the Spaniard how it is done as his deflected effort opened the scoring for ‘the pensioners’ at the Stadium of Light on Saturday, taking Terry ahead of Torres in the Premier League scoring charts with a whopping total of ONE.

Yet more embarrassment was heaped on Torres, who himself only managed an ineffective late cameo appearance, as young Daniel Sturridge was preferred up front in the starting XI by Andre Villas-Boas. Former England Under-21 hitman played brilliantly with all the pace, exuberance and confidence that Torres so badly lacks. He also managed another thing the sulky Spaniard cannot buy at the moment; he managed to score a goal.

With his unhealthy attitude combined with the form of Sturridge, Torres faces an uphill struggle to regain his place in the side.

Despite all the plaudits going Vorm’s way he must be blamed for Swansea’s failure to collect a deserved point from the Emirates.

Michel Vorm

The Dutch stopper has been hugely impressive since moving to the Liberty Stadium this summer. His eye-catching displays have seen the Swans keep two clean sheets in three games going into the weekend and they owe it largely to Vorm’s heroics. He also pulled off some stunning saves to keep the score down to just four against a rampant Manchester City on their opening day trip to the Etihad Arena.

Despite all the plaudits going Vorm’s way he must be blamed for Swansea’s failure to collect a deserved point from the Emirates. He carelessly bowled the ball out to try and spark a swift counter attack only to find the flailing heels of unsuspecting full-back Angel Rangel who in turn inadvertently assisted Andrei Arshavin, the Russian made no mistake in beating the distraught Vorm.

This uncharacteristic error from a top-draw keeper cost his side what may prove to be a vital point, for this reason Vorm receives a mild mauling this Monday morning.

Asamoah Gyan and Steve Bruce

Underfire Steve Bruce has been left angered and mystified by the departure of club record signing, Asamoah Gyan. The Ghanaian striker has been pining for a move away from Wearside for several months yet Sunderland and Bruce thought they had managed to keep the skilful forward when the transfer window slammed shut twelve days ago.

The clubs hopes were heightened further as 72 hours ago Gyan assured his boss Bruce that he would honour the rest of his contract following clear the air talks. Therefore you can understand Bruce’s anger as the £13million man went back on his word and left the club on loan.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, Bruce had expected the forward to leave for one of Europes elite clubs, he was understandably dumbfounded as the sneaky Gyan arranged to move to the United Arab Emirates with Al-Ain his club of choice. The Black Cats gaffer summed the general feeling of discontent up perfectly by stating ‘why does a player leave the Premier League to go to the UAE? All I can do is let you draw your own conclusions.’

Regardless of Gyan’s move being unfortunate Bruce himself receives a mauling because of his sides slow start to the season, mustering two draws and two defeats from their opening four games. 11 new players have arrived at the club during the summer, none of whom posses the desired quality in my opinion to take Sunderland to the next level. A Man United retirement home is also taking shape in the North-East as ex United players John O’Shea and Wes Brown joined the already established full-back Phil Bardsley playing for Bruce, himself a Fergie old boy. These United rejects are not the hungry players eager to succeed that the club should be targeting, more like players who have passed their peak and after a final pay day.

Bruce needs to gel his new team quickly and start putting points on the board before the pressure seriously begins to build.

Carlos Tevez

A controversial choice, serving more of a warning than a mauling for Carlos Tevez. The tubby forward has been stripped of the captaincy at the club, been left out of recent Argentinean squads and the Manchester City team, replaced in both by Sergio Aguero and again Tevez was upstaged by the mesmerising younger more skilful son-in-law to God. Tevez started his first game of the season for the Blues but looked sluggish throughout and missed a penalty by poorly placing a tame effort weakly to Ali Al-Habsi’s right which was easily saved by the big Oman keeper. After embarrassingly failing to leave the club following his transfer request earlier in the summer he now has to buckle down, trim a little excess fat and then sit down and sort his head out. He needs to put all his efforts into helping bolster Manchester City’s title after an impressive start to the season, largely without Tevez.