December is awards season so the Cutter is dutifully donning its least smelliest tux, printing up some fancy invites and hosting a virtual ceremony to celebrate the best of 2011.
Ladies and gents, welcome to the inaugural Daisies! (If you could make a fanfare noise as you read that last bit it would be much appreciated)
The 2011 Daisies has six different categories and we will be running one per day this week. Simply click on your favourite on the link provided on the homepage and the votes will be collated. The winners will be announced on Dec 28th and each will be sent a £20 meat voucher for Aldi.
Today we highlight five jaw-dropping moments. But which deserves the gong?
Tevez refuses to leave bench in Munich
A genuinely gobsmacking moment but I suppose in hindsight – knowing the mercenary nature of the man – we shouldn’t have been so surprised. At the time however, seeing a player on multi-million pound wages refuse to do something any one of us would have died to experience – his job – there was universal shock. Hours after the game I wrote –
“F*** you Tevez. F*** you to kingdom come. F*** your slum morals and scum svengali. I am sick of him making my club a circus. I am sick of his constant demands, strops and remorseless engineering for a move that offers endless ammunition and amusement to those who cannot wait to twist the knife.
Tonight Carlos Tevez spat into the face of all those who have showed him nothing but adoration. He spat on a badge that is worth fifty million of him and infinitely more.
And he did so with a smile.”
Billy Sharps dedicates goal to his son
The dignity and bravery displayed by Doncaster striker Billy Sharp in the immediate aftermath of the tragic passing of his three-day old son stunned the whole of football. It also gave a rare opportunity for the sport to show its human side as both sets of supporters offered warm and respectful applause to Sharp as he walked on to face Middlesbrough. Fifteen minutes later he volleyed a spectacular opener that had the entire ground on their feet. The player then unveiled a t-shirt bearing the heartbreakingly simple message ‘That’s For You Son’.
The ref sensibly eschewed the rules and refused to issue a yellow.
River Plate are relegated
In June, River Plate – Los Millionarios and one of the great clubs in world football, were relegated to Argentina’s B League for the first time in their 110-year history.
Their demotion was shocking but sadly the reaction of the supporters was not.
Needing a two-goal victory in their final home game and with the score at 1-1 with only a couple of minutes left to play the los borrachos del tablon (‘the drunkards of the boards’) went on the rampage requiring the police to fire water cannons up into the stands. The violence went on long into the night. The shame at their club enduring such an unlikely downfall will persist for a good while more.
Keys and Gray smash it
An off-mike recording leaked to the press in January got the year off to a comedy stormer as Sky Sport figureheads Gray and Keys were put through the media wringer for airing their dubious views on female officials.
If that wasn’t rib-tickling enough a few days later we were treated to outright comedy gold as a clip of Keys was released ‘bantering’ with Souness and Redknapp and slobbering like a lusty old goat from a French and Saunders sketch.
Whether the sexist duo win this award is entirely up to you, the reader, but for unintentional entertainment value alone Keys truly smashed it this year.
Torres signs for Liverpool
‘They always though he was a red Torres Torres
They based it on what his armband said Torres Torres
He shocked them all and sold his soul
And now he can’t buy a goal
Fernando Torres, Chelsea’s number nine’