We asked Villa fan Richard Edge to identify the main causes of his club’s reversal of fortunes this season. He took a break from throwing poisoned darts at his Alex McLeish dartboard to tell us.

Lack of midfield spark

The lack of midfield spark has actually resulted in us becoming Birmingham City Mk 2 as our new defensive approach to shore up the back takes precedence. In fairness, we did need this to happen but not at the expense of any creativity. Now we’re only likely to score from a set piece or an own goal. Perhaps we can sign some other shit Scottish player to add to the squad or sign another injured player on loan for the season?

Utterly shite set-pieces

We’re no longer the threat we used to be in an attacking sense as the delivery is bobbins and Heskey could be replaced with a paraplegic for his worth. I’m hoping Martin O’Neil takes him along with the predator (look alike) Delfonso who always looks a bit shit when ever he comes on.
Stephen Ireland is clearly more interested in International cock fighting than Aston Villa and wastes every opportunity to put in a dangerous ball.

N’Zogbia needs to step up

N’Zogbia is probably thinking what all Villa fans are thinking – McCleish is shit and fails to understand that drawing our way to the Championship is a fucking joke. No wonder he’s being a naughty boy, but that aside, like his pikey mate Ireland, he needs to put noticeably more effort in for the cause.

Bodyguards may be needed by February

If by the end of February we are drawing for fun and lingering around the relegation zone, coins should be the least of McLeish’s worries. I am already scouring the internet for anthrax or setting up a sponsored hit through a website in Albania. I used to love my football, but now have little enjoyment watching Villa and bouts of depression and crying are becoming a regular thing. What the fuck was Randy Lerner thinking?
I like our sponsors, and that’s about it now. The club should be renamed Aston Dog shit with a big sloppy turd with a Scottish flag with Alan Hutton’s head superimposed about to eat it as our new badge (patent pending).