With Nicolas Anelka becoming the first casualty of Andre Villas-Boas’ reign at Chelsea and being punted out to Chinese Super League club Shanghai Shenhua (purely to further his football ambitions) we thought we’d help Le Sulk with some handy translations to ease him through the initial communication barrier.

不,没有,那是正义的我的薪水。 怎么样我的兄弟?

‘No, no, that’s just my wages. What about my brothers?’

您盼望我也是计分? 那更将是几百万

‘You expect me to score too? That will be a few million extra’


‘For the last time I am not DMX’


‘I do not play out wide’

面对新闻? 不能您看我生气

‘Face the press? Can’t you see that I’m sulking?’