'Arry in his office.

by Jack Howes

Harry’s gone. Hazza’s gone. The man who with a twitch, some soundbites and a cockney affectation turned around Spurs from having as many points as a cocktail stick after eight games into the temporarily gleaming ship that hit the rocks, encountered choppy water and was then torpedoed by Chelsea’s expensive little sloop which failed at home but was stunningly victorious abroad.

It is of course incredibly tragic that ‘Arry’, the ‘people’s favourite’, the man of the people, the voice of the common man, has been sacked by that bastard Daniel Levy. Poor Harry is now queuing at the dole office in his last pair of decent clothes, clutching his last packet of Woodbines without a pot to urinate in. He’s broke bless ‘im. A poor man who was wrongfully not hired by the FA to manage the country he loves so very much is now unjustly out of a job.

Harry’s such a great chap. When he spoke to the media, he spoke to the fans[1]. The fans, those ungreatful pig-headed swine. They’ve lost the right to call him ‘Harry’[2]. How dare they nod in approval at his departure. Spurs are heading back for mid-table[3]. That’s what they get for so ruthlessly disposing of cheeky-chappy wheelin’ dealin’ motormouth ‘Arry. Those Spurs owners are complete bell-ends. They’re the New Venky’s[4]. They’re nuts to have got rid of Harry[5].

The journalists supportive of Harry are not fans of Harry. Journalists aren’t allowed to sympathise with Redknapp without being accused of being their best mate[6]. Harry isn’t friends with them and has never given them a story[7]. Spurs getting rid of ‘Arry was even by their standards unbelievable idiocy[8]. Tottenham are mental[9] They hope Spurs will not come to regret losing Redknapp over the next couple of years but suspect they probably will[10]. Harry’s done an incredible job and its staggering that they’ve sacked him[11]. If Spurs don’t finish in the top four next season Levy should be fired[12].

Levy and the Spurs board should be careful what they wish for[13].

[1] Neil Custis

[2] John Cross

[3] Paul Newman

[4] John Cross

[5] Matt Lawton

[6] Oliver Kay

[7] Matt Law

[8] Piers Morgan, RT’d by Gary Lineker

[9] Matt Law

[10] Ollie Holt

[11] Talksport/John Scales

[12] Matt Law

[13] Darren Lewis