Berbatov ponders his next Farmville session.

by Steven S

Like a new born foal gasping for air, struggling to adjust to its new surroundings only to look back and see its dying mother lay strewn on the floor, Andy Carroll must be a man at something of a loss right now. Two months on from an impressive end to his domestic season capped with an FA Cup Final goal and incredible bad luck, 30 days on from a glorious goal in front of a worldwide audience and the big guy is loping around in limbo.

Having apparently been told he does not fit into Brendan Rodgers tiki-taka revolution at Anfield, Andy is still tied to the club until they make some sort of recovery on the outrageous amount they put down 18 months ago. The price tag leaves him available to only a select few in this country and indeed across Europe with only Newcastle tabling a bid so far. A return back up North may suit his chances of finding some sort of stability but then he has to deal with the task of dislodging Cisse and Ba from the Newcastle side.

Compare that with Fernando Torres, a man who has shared yet another season of similar discontent and who also scored two goals of great importance, although the returns have been somewhat more significant.  They are two men at different scales of progression in their career and the thin dividing line between their two stories is a reminder of why we adore this game so much.

Meanwhile Newcastle continue to trawl through the Dutch league, this time tabling a bid for Brazilian born defender Douglas; a name that lacks any sort of Latin passion, more likely to conjure thoughts of some guy in his fifties working in accounts. Fulham and West Ham have reportedly also submitted bids putting FC Twente into a position of negotiation power.  One player likely to arrive on Tyneside will be French defender Mathieu Debuchy who wants to leave Lille (and their glorious new kit) in a £7m deal. Lille Director General Frederic Paquet is looking for a replacement before any move will be sanctioned, so this one may add to the transfer backlog that will most likely go crazy in the last two weeks of the window.

Dimitar Berbatov took to Facebook at the start of the week and told the world it was time to move on from the Manchester club. It was a very direct move to the public designed to attract attention and get his name at least associated with a transfer, which has been mysteriously absent since the start of the summer. Apparently Alex Ferguson Liked This. RVP also released a statement in order to accelerate his departure from Arsenal and these may prove to be the start of a new trend from footballers very much aware of the power of the internet.

He may struggle to finish off Arsenal’s Matrix passing moves and is only a fraction slower than Neo but Theo Walcott is a man whose time has arrived to either consistently deliver or forever face questions over his ability. A strong second half of the season saw him finish with stats comparable to the best in the league and his Euro cameo should be the springboard to continue his progression. He is also yet another Arsenal player entering into potentially his last season at the club unless a new contract is agreed between the two parties. Rumours of Liverpool’s interest surfaced this week, which would suit Rodgers team in a mould similar to Sinclair’s at Swansea, not forgetting of course that Theo has always been a Liverpool fan. Arsenal do have other options available in the team but to lose two key players in the off season for a second year in a row is a dangerous trend their fans will be hoping does not trigger yet another abysmal start.

After the storm in a refrigerator row involving Rio Ferdinand and Ashley Cole last weekend, Suarez used his impeccable timing to revisit the racism row from last season. The Uruguayan “cried alongside my wife” and wanted to “kick all the things around me” such where his levels of frustration, which shatters the illusion footballers are different people off the pitch. Liverpool owners Fenway Sports Group jumped the gun earlier in the week apparently signing target Clint Dempsey without Fulham’s knowledge. His inclusion in part of a headline reporting on the current American tour was quickly removed once it had spread through various fan forums and Twitter accounts. It forced manager Rogers to admit the clubs interest in the midfielder, weakening the negotiation stance when they do officially approach Fulham.

Having already tabled a bid for Robin Van Persie, Juventus now also want to bring Suarez along with him to create a star studded frontline to accompany their creative midfield. The journey back to the top of Serie A has taken a while and the club have lacked a legitimate star to spearhead the attack, which you would imagine will change this summer. Manchester United have also tabled a £10m bid for Van Persie, although Arsene Wenger remains firm over their intent to keep the player. Stronger financial incentives will surely force Arsenal to sell before the end of the transfer window and the Dutch striker has been left behind whilst the club being their brief Asian tour, a move similar to last seasons departure of Cesc Fabregas.

For once a Scottish player arrived in the Premiership without coming from Rangers as Wigan secured their first signing of the summer from Aberdeen, Fraser Fyvie coming into their midfield. That optimism didn’t last long however as Steven Davis’ move to Southampton was confirmed by Rangers with the fee undisclosed. Over at Carrow Road Chris Hughton has continued the clubs previous interest in Leeds captain Robert Snodgrass with a bid turned down by the Yorkshire club. Crystal Palace right back Nathaniel Clyne has moved into the Premiership joining Southampton on a four year contract.

Blackburn’s Junior Hoilett is likely to be joining the ever increasing QPR squad, all dependent on securing a new work permit for the Canadian, which is unlikely to be a problem. More Spanish players on their way to Swansea as Rayo Vallecano’s Michu signed on the dotted line for £2m. Little is known about the midfielder apart from some impressive reports on his performances in La Liga last season. French club Sochaux have agreed the sale of Modibo Maiga to West Ham, the striker signing on for a four year deal. Rumours about Martin Skrtel’s future as he confirmed he has received bids from other clubs but is yet to offer any sort of commitment to Liverpool or moving anywhere else.

The Sam Allardyce v Steven Kean saga continues with news that the Premiership Walrus has issued a writ against his former assistant following the remarks that were captured on video by a fan. “I worked my balls off for him and then he had a go at me so **** him.” For a man that defended the actions of El Hadji Diouf most weekends Allardyce is hardly showing the thickest of skins, although the legal action is probably more born from lingering animosity toward the Venky’s.

In another busy week for the Chelsea, Shakhtar Donetsk manager Mircea Lucescu claims to have rejected a £26million approach for Willian – coming a week after the Blues also had a £16m bid for Andre Schurrle dismissed. Victor Moses has also been subject to a third bid from Chelsea, again turned down by his chairman Dave Whelan who is sticking to his valuation of £10m; someway above the much smaller £4m plus player offer. Lens sporting director Antoine Sibierski claims a deal to take Thorgan Hazard to join his brother at Chelsea is imminent, with rumours that this was part of the deal agreed by the club with older brother Eden. And of course there is the small matter of Chelsea’s ongoing interest in Internacional midfielder Oscar which will drag on for at least two more weeks. Following the successful completion of a medical the Brazillian told the press he would make his final decision after the imminent Olympic football tournament. Any rumours Chelsea may have to restrict their spending this summer have long been blown away. Much like Financial Fair Play it seems.

A marathon column this time so not much room to reflect on the retirement of Ledley King from football, after years of injuries and somehow playing the highest level of football in the country without training. He will take on an ambassadorial role at Tottenham and it remains a shame we never got to see the best of him in the national team. Final word of the week is saved for Welsh journalist Dave Jones who selected Bangor City striker Les Davies for UEFA’s forthcoming European player of the year award. More than anything it reminds us of the great British art of blagging, a national tradition England can always seriously compete in.

That’s all from our new spot on Sunday, so come back next week for more of the same. Four weeks left my friends. Four weeks left.