A school trip awayday. The Chaos Crew in full force.

A mini-storm hit Twitter last week when ‘East Anglia’s number 1 yoof firm’ the Chaos Crew started up an account and boasted of taking on the Posh away. So excited were these 30 or so urchins (all aged between 13-15) at the prospect of a tear-up outside Greggs in their Stone Island clobber that they even went to the trouble of asking Justin Bieber for a RT.

Of course the juvenile carnage, threats to take on the Pompey massive, and calling everyone who questions their street credentials ‘mugs’ isn’t genuine and is yet another example of the growing – and thoroughly welcome – trend of football parody accounts on the social network site. Inevitably amongst such gems there is plenty of dross and you have to wonder why some take on a famous alter ego when they’re as funny as an x-ray shadow. But when it works and when a creation becomes a character in its own right it can be a wondrous thing.

The Cutter has picked out eight of the best – and funniest – parody accounts that are well worth a follow.


Thirty Danny Dyer-worshipping scallywags seek the approval of the casuals crowd but only when their phone credit allows them to tweet.

Best tweet – ‘not in the mood for aggro 2nite. Jog on princess’


The crude genius Godfather of football parodies. If you’re not following the depraved lunacy of Big Sam then we heartily recommend you join the sordid party complete with Trudie, his trusty sword, a love of Yop, and an eternal disappointment in a squad of players he evidently loathes.

Best tweet – Where do we start? Each and every one floors us. But a quick selection of recent diamonds include…

‘December the 17th. It’s on this date every year, when I pick up the phone, and check if Nick Hancock is still alive.’

‘Abject performance so far. I shall remind these bastards that I carry a Nerf Supersoaker Thunderstorm filled with diarrhoea, at all times.’

‘Sir Alex sent me a private message to my MySpace earlier. “Wear that cologne I got you in Bradford.”


In its own words BBCSporf tweets the ‘breaking sorts banter via jokes, pictures and videos’. Can be hit-and-miss with its targets but the sheer volume of output ensures there is at least a giggle a day.

Best tweet – ‘BREAKING: Swansea City confirm Michu is not starting vs Arsenal due to a severe back injury, caused by carrying the team all season.’


By its very nature – a spoof account of a Japanese player containing plenty of Asian stereotypes – this can border on the offensive but the creator balances the tricky PC line well. As with all the best parody accounts Evil Kagawa has developed exaggerated traits of his personality that makes him three-dimensional in this instance an endearing naivety (‘Mr Rooney give wife glorious pearl necklace. Team gather to watch video. No let Kagawa see! They say I “too innocent.” To see necklace? Why?’) coupled with a fiery temper.

Best tweet – ‘Evra tell joke to team. He say “look-a-like competition in Japan. Everyone won!” He laugh, team laugh, even Kagawa laugh, but inside I rage!’


Our timelines imploded last October when Sean Cummings outed himself as the infamous spoof ‘in-the-know’ Duncan Jenkins to tell us a tale so bizarre it had to be true. After guessing one transfer too many concerning LFC the club’s director of communications Jen Chang hired a private detective to uncover the blogger’s real identity then invited him to a Manchester restaurant for a friendly chat.

This friendly chat consisted of veiled threats, intimidation and a staggering level of paranoia that wouldn’t have been out of place in an espionage flick.

Read the full astonishing story here –

So it was farewell to a funny and likable character who had unlimited texts and called everyone ‘mates’. He is included here as an example of how spoof Twitter blogging can be done and done superbly.

Best tweet – (To Graham Coxon) ‘hullo graham i’m a perspiring journalist, i’ve failed to break into sports journoism and would like to do music. got any #tips.’


A simple idea very well executed. The person behind OptaJoke mimics the popular stat coverage right down to the one word pay-offs with fictional versions such as ‘1 – Newcastle United need to lose just 1 more striker before Alan Shearer comes out of retirement – Howay’.

Best tweet – ‘100 – Percentage of neutrals watching Mansfield v Liverpool hoping a Mansfield player puts their studs through Luis Suarez’s kneecap. Cheat.’


The Cutter’s very own irregular guest columnist Cockney Red Fred remorselessly mines a rich vein of comedy gold by pretending to be the uber-armchair United part-timer who wouldn’t know Old Trafford if it stared him in the boat race.

Fred was a Gooner until five years ago, is a proud subscriber of Sky Sports 3D, and is hoping to attend his first game in 2014.

Best tweet – ‘In fairness to Suarez, what else could he do? Head the ball and risk his life?’