by Darren Walsh

We get a montage of lots of Barcelona goals to start the programme, mostly showing Messi beating teams by himself.  Straight after that we are told that he’s on the bench.  What a let-down.

Not the most attacking line-up, with Fabregas as the nominal centre forward.  Such a waste of his talents.

George Hamilton the players that Barca are missing, including Puyol, except that he pronounces it as ‘Peehole’.

An obvious backpass from Alves that Valdes picks up; Munich appeal but it’s not given.

Robben is clean through until he has to step in on his left foot to shoot, and Pique blocks the shot.

Hamilton quotes Shakespeare to make sense of the linesman not seeing the ball go over the touchline.  I normally end up quoting the greats like Peter Reid when dealing with poor decisions.

Xavi has a chance that he puts over the bar, then appeals for handball despite it being Fabregas who actually handballed.

We’re told by Hamilton that Jupp Heynckes will “give the manager’s chair” to Pep Guardiola in the summer.  I’m just imaging a ceremony and photos of the two as Jupp hands it over.

The teams come out for the second half, as we see a man in a suit with what looks like a remote control.  I’ve now spent the last minute wondering which player out there looks like he’s being operated by someone else, and taking into account all the mistakes this player makes, the obvious choice is Robben.

Of course he then receives the ball on the right wing and makes his trademark move of cutting inside and shooting.  Valdes has no chance, and the all-German final is confirmed.

One of the things about Barcelona over the years is that they always seem so reluctant to shoot, in case there’s a pass to be made.  It leaves players in two minds of whether to shoot or not, and it happens with David Villa as he hesitates and lets the shot get blocked.

Munich fans are calling out the Oles as the team spray the ball around.  Wonder when was the last time that anyone could do that at the Nou Camp?

Total dismantling as Bayern score two quick goals; first of all through Pique kneeing into his own net, then Muller heading in at the back post.

George Hamilton is getting into fawning territory now, as he waxes lyrical about Bayern’s inclusiveness and how the fans can watch training.  He obviously doesn’t know about how the club deals with the media and bans journalists for even the slightest hint of criticism.

Eamon Dunphy launches into a passionate defence of Barcelona as an overall club.  I’d agree, but critics of them have been waiting for this day for years, and they’re not going to let this chance go.  It’s bad enough when Barcelona lose the first leg of a tie; it’s going to get ridiculous now that they’ve been on the wrong end of the worst semi -final aggregate result in Champion’s League history.