The Cutter ignites ten rockets that would have made Guy Fawkes proud. Stand well back.

Tony Yeboah v Wimbledon

Without the sturdily contructed net this would still be rising and presently zooming past Uranus.

Stephen Reid v Wigan

Ever wondered where the phrae ‘returned with interest’ came from? Here’s where.

Steven Gerrard v Middlesbrough

Exquisite cushioned control followed by an exocet that could have blown up Parliament.

Wayne Rooney v Newcastle United

The ref should rightfully have been given an assist for this thunderbastard.

Jorg Albertz v Celtic

The German with a foot like a traction engine could have pointed to the exact spot this was heading and it still would have bruised the netting.

Arie Haan v Italy

Haan’s hammer showed that total football also embraced the laces-through-it simplicity of a long-range belter.

Clarence Seedorf v Atletico Madrid

Even when Clarence went primal thwack he did so in style.

Peter Lorimer v Crystal Palace

He didn’t gain the nickname ‘Thunderboots’ for his sidefooting finesse.

Alan Shearer v Everton

Shearer’s most treasured goal. Out of 313 so you expect it to be this good.

Yaya Toure v Sunderland

With a flick of his size 11s Yaya nonchalently defies physics.