Kieran Davies sums up a week of mini-bar bills, Ballon D’Or omissions, and firing blanks

Tottenham and Arsenal, fierce rivals, bitter enemies, the only two known people in London unable to score last weekend. While the two teams consider themselves title contenders, the old adage is you’re only as good as your last game. Based on that form, the North London rivals are firing more blanks than the starting pistol used in the London 2012 games. While Arsenal fans are still in disbelief their talisman Alexis Sanchez was omitted from the Ballon D’Or nominations, the only contributions that warranted his place are his exploits in South America for his home nation of Chile. The Gunners are a team who still don’t have a striker capable of 15-20 goals a season and statistically all previous champions had one. They tried to buy one, if not many, but lately the Emirates seems to have the pulling power of a monk with personal hygiene problems. Middlesbrough could have won the latest encounter against Arsene’s side and with a little more composure probably would. A creditable 0-0 draw will do them, but this is not the form of champions and is why Arsenal will not be finishing in that top spot. Let’s not forget that invincible Arsenal team – their fans won’t let us after all – but this is as distant a dream and they are living off history. Consistent Champions League qualification is not something to be proud of when you are just in the list of also-rans when trophies are handed out. This club is just about balancing books and turning profit nowadays, the edge has gone, and soon so will Arsene.

Tottenham meanwhile are still unbeaten this season but draws will hurt and they need to find winning ways sooner rather than later. This is why they currently find themselves fifth in the table. With new striker Janssen hitting the target as often as a Taliban soldier at a shooting range, they will be desperate for Harry Kane to return to fitness sooner rather than later. They will be hoping this weekend they can continue the reality check that seems to be Leicester’s defence of their title. Although Ranieri’s team beat Palace last time out, they find themselves closer to the drop zone than they do the top of the table. While they are enjoying their European adventures, this is a group most sides in the Premier League would progress from.

Burnley must love facing sides from Merseyside at home this season. They added Everton to their tally of wins this season, leaving Koeman’s side winless in their last five games. This has led to a lot of fickle fans questioning the Dutchman’s credentials meaning this week’s home game against West Ham is a must win game to recapture their early season form. The other side of Stanley Park saw rivals Liverpool pick up another three points with a win over West Brom. The worrying thing for Reds fans will be how they are not killing games off where they are clearly dominating. The Baggies were never really in this game but poor defending from another set piece and not taking a plethora of chances saw a nervy last 20 minutes for the home faithful. A trip to Crystal Palace this weekend will be a stern test at a ground that still holds many bad memories in recent times. Ex-Liverpool striker Christian Benteke will no doubt be looking to prove a few points in this one.

While Jose Mourinho tries to make us all feel sorry for his gutter lifestyle living in a £1000 per night hotel suite, because he can’t go out without paparazzi taking pictures (yes that is the noise of the smallest violin in the world) his United side had a bigger hiding than his mini-bar bill. The Jose bus ended up looking like it had been targeted by Putin’s air force suspecting Islamic State were hiding out there as Chelsea showed their home faithful why they were right to get rid of The Frozen One. This was a one sided contest in which the hosts could have scored more but the 4-0 scoreline was as emphatic as any Chelsea fan could have hoped before the game. United find themselves already falling behind the chasing pack in seventh, ironically in a Europa League spot, a competition they are hardly dazzling anyone in.

New Swansea City manager Bob Bradley knows he has his work cut out to secure the Welsh clubs status as a Premier League team. His team seem to lack firepower and rely too much on goalscoring midfielder Gylfi Sigurdsson to produce the goods. The American will need to work his magic quickly to make sure the Swans dont find themselves in the bottom three for too long.

Stoke City really have changed their fortunes of late and another victory at the expense of Hull City has seen them pull away from relegation. With Swansea visiting The Bet365 Stadium, Hughes will be hoping to see another performance from Shaqiri inspiring his side to keep their good form going.

West Ham are starting to take some of the pressure off manager Slaven Bilic but last time out they left it late to get a goal to break Sunderland hearts. Dimitri Payet again seems the stand out player for The Hammers but this time around he is not so competently assisted by those around him and they will have to work hard to get their season back on track.

Pepe Guardiola currently finds himself in the worst run of form in his managerial career, just showing how competitive the Premier League is. A tricky trip to West Brom will be the next obstacle standing in the way of the Spaniard getting his side out of this run of poor form. A draw at home last weekend with Southampton, left many disappointed after the fantastic start Pepe experienced in his City tenure. Having managed Barcelona, Bayern Munich and now Man City many would argue he has only managed teams your technophobe grandparents could win a trophy with on Football Manager, this could be a first stern test of his City reign.