by Ste | Sep 15, 2014 | Fake News, Features, Main Features
The Cutter understands that the Double Standards Commission – the little-known independent public body set up in 2011 after Cheryl Tweedy/Cole/Whatever-Her-Name-Is criticised an X-Factor contestant’s voice as being ‘limited’ – are to investigate Manchester...
by Ste | Sep 3, 2013 | Fake News, Features, Main Features
In an astonishing mix-up that is set to shake football to its bejewelled rotten core it transpires that Manchester United and Arsenal accidentally signed each other’s players during yesterday’s transfer deadline dealings. With the north Londoners desperately lacking...
by Ste | Feb 19, 2013 | Fake News, Features, Main Features
The World Health organisation has this week published a disturbing report that reveals that one in ten humans suffer from ‘supporting’ Manchester United. The shocking figure is believed to be considerably more than initially estimated and with 659 million afflicted...
by Ste | Nov 5, 2012 | Fake News, Features, Main Features
by Bob Lethaby Police are investigating an allegation made by a Newcastle United supporter that a Liverpool fan has made racist remarks against him, claiming that he was a fat bastard who had eaten all the pies from the Anfield refreshment bar. Bare chested,...
by Ste | Oct 8, 2012 | Fake News, Features, Main Features
A hard-fought 0-0 stalemate against a revitalised Liverpool should have been enough to put a rare smile on the face of Stoke City’s gaffer yesterday but alas Tony Pulis was in no mood for merriment. Speaking immediately after the game the official spokesman for good...
by Ste | Sep 21, 2012 | Fake News, Features, Main Features
Charlie Adam’s missed penalty in last season’s Carling Cup final against Cardiff finally re-entered the Earth’s stratosphere last night to the puzzlement of millions who falsely believed they witnessed a burning up meteor. Leading astrophysicists from the Jodrell Bank...