Topical? Nope. One of the best British club sides of all time? Yes.

We ask the people who really matter – the fans – about their club’s prospects for the season to come. Here Alex Bentley reveals that Bilyaletdinov has small feet and urges Moyes to stop parking the bus…

Are you frustrated with the lack of newcomers so far this summer?

I am ALWAYS frustrated with the lack of newcomers at this point in the summer. Then come August I’m confused as to who the hell we’ve brought in. I don’t think we need many players besides a bona fide striker and a bit of squad depth.

Who realistically would you like to see brought in?

I was personally hoping that we might land N’Zogbia, but we haven’t got the money and Aston Villa have. I’d like to see another of our cheap diamond buys brought in if I’m realistic and honest. Coleman for £60k; I’d take another couple like that any day! Obviously I’d love to sign somebody like Pato, but that won’t ever be considered. We need a FIT, PROVEN, striker, but it seems that’s asking a bit much.

Any player you’d like to be shown the exit door?

VICTOR ANICHEBE – lazy, moaning and useless. I struggle to believe he is a professional football player. How much longer do we have to ‘be patient with him’?!

Yakubu – he had one good season, but he just doesn’t cut it in the top flight.

Bily – I had high hopes for the lad, but he’s failed to deliver anything bar the odd decent strike. He stepped into Pienaar’s shoes, but unfortunately they didn’t fit.

Happy with the gaffer?

Yes and no. Finally a bit of consistency at the club, which is more than welcome. And it’s undeniable that the squad he has built has fantastic team spirit, and that comes from the manager down. However, time and time again, we only perform at our best when we are the underdog. We play our hearts out and really take it to the tougher teams, yet when we play teams we should be comfortably beating, we look clueless. I think that Moyes is far too defensive a lot of the time, which really, REALLY frustrates me. We have creative players, and a lot to go forward with, it’s like he is afraid to do anything but park the bus and defend.

What one change would you like to see made on the pitch from last term?

In the final third of the field, we seem to be a bit clueless. We’re bare up top, and we seem surprised to be there half of the time. We have arguably the best left back in the league, and one of the best young players on the right as well. Against teams that we should be beating, I would love to see Moyes take the plunge, and play 3 at the back. Distin, Jagielka and Heitinga as a back 3, with Coleman and Baines as wing-backs (they pretty much play that at times anyway). This would mean we have extra men going forward, and with the crosses coming in from those two wingers, I think we could be a huge threat in the box. Saying that, playing TWO strikers at once would be a start!

What would you consider to be a successful season?

I’d like to see us have a decent cup run again this year. Also, finishing in a European slot would be an achievable target. To be a brilliant season, we’d have to finish above the other lot!

Any promising youngster coming through that we should look out for?

Local lad Ross Barkley. After a horrific injury put his career on hold, he’s back and looking like a real star of the near future. I firmly believe we should look at building the squad around him and Rodwell (instead of thinking about how much we can get for him).

Who/what is to blame for the club’s financial situation?

It’s difficult to point fingers directly, but something that doesn’t get mentioned in fairness, is the stadium issue. There’s little room for argument in saying that Everton are one of the most highly esteemed clubs in the country, with great history and great prospects, and with all these ‘lesser’ clubs finding decent investment, you have to wonder why? The problem is, when speaking with potential investors, the board have to include “well, yeah, we kinda need a new stadium as well, so add another couple of hundred million on to that figure, plus the time and effort into going about it”, which I would imagine for most, is a pretty instant turn off.

Are there any misconceptions about your club from the media/other fans that you’d like to put right?

Calling every game we win a ‘cup final’…. fuck off! Also, Liverpool fans calling us bitter… we aren’t HALF as bitter towards Liverpool, as they are towards United