Kieran Davies takes in a week of bottom three flirting, Football Manager squandering, and saviours. 

So, it seems Harry Kane is untouchable at the moment where defenders are concerned. I don’t think anyone has had such a scoring success rate in N1 since Callum Best’s infamous ‘STI summer’ of 2007. Cue the reporters linking him to a move to Real Madrid or Barcelona. I can’t see that materializing as Tottenham’s main man struggles to get through a two-minute post-match interview in English. One thing you cannot deny, he is one of Europe’s top marksmen at the moment. Worrying news for Huddersfield fans. Wagner’s side have struggled for wins since their fantastic start to the season and would love nothing more than to put another three points on their tally for survival. Their best bet is to try and contain Pochettino’s side and hit them on the counter attack. Terriers fans will be hoping Spurs look weary after their midweek Champions League exploits. It seems the days you could go to a concert without fear for your wellbeing are long gone as City fans curse Aguero’s decision to go to Holland to such a gig. The Argentinian was involved in a car accident that led to damaged ribs and more worryingly, two months on the sidelines. This will really test Pep’s City side; especially on a weekend they travel to Stamford Bridge to defend their unbeaten start to the season. That is unless the Sunday paper’s headlines read like a Babylonian newspaper……….’Jesus Saves City!’

This will make the other side of Manchester salivate at the thought of their neighbours not only dropping points but leaving them with the enviable record of the only team in the Premier League still unbeaten. This could be a weekend to remember for Jose and his team as they take on arguably the strongest team in the league, the ones holding the rest of the league up. Roy Hodgson may be forgiven for wishing he had taken the previous offer he had before Palace from the Bella Vista Nursing Home of a room with an incredible view, as the table isn’t making a very good one for him at the moment. Add to that they have less striking options than someone on a zero hours contract as Christian Benteke has been ruled out for six weeks with a knee injury. It could be a very long afternoon for Roy and he can be forgiven no doubt after sixty minutes looking like he doesn’t know where he is as his Palace team take quite the hiding. Another heavy defeat could send the players spiraling into a rut they just can’t snap out of, as is the way of at least one Premier League team in the season. The way things are looking, Eagles could become an endangered species in the Premier League for sure.

Both Bournemouth and Leicester find themselves in positions they are not accustomed to of late as they occupy places in the bottom four of the table. A win for either side will see them climb towards mid-table mediocrity but compared to their current plight, either side would take that any day. Jamie Vardy’s parties would have to comply to much tighter budgets next season in the Championship. I wonder if he has bought ‘Football Manager’ and transferred himself to Arsenal to see if it was really such a monumental f*** up to turn down their offer two summers ago. Will Defoe turn his fortunes with Cherries fans and bag them all three points to earn hero status? Ironic really that all those years later and Shakespeare will still be praying for a big performance from his cast come that opening curtain on Saturday. Slaven Bilic must have heard he’s getting sacked that much that is now just in a constant state of Zen. He must feel like he has broken the matrix and now is impervious to any emotion thanks to the British press. Apparently, every time Slaven gets a win, another family are forced out of their home in Brazil as West Ham tear up the numerous P45s they’ve printed out for him that week.

Mark Hughes has often flirted with the bottom three over the course a season but always seems to manage to guide his Stoke team to mid-table safety. How he feels about being down there this early in the season is probably the same feeling as an old man who has just downed a blue pill that very second with a large V on it. Looking down he’s thinking ‘that doesn’t look good but it will rise soon, wont it?’ With Southampton the visitors this weekend, Stoke will see this as a very winnable game with The Saints blowing very hot and cold this season. Watford are enjoying probably one of their best starts to a top-flight season. Sitting pretty in sixth place, a trip to The Hawthorns this weekend is the challenge for Marco Silva and his team. It’s rare that anyone gets an easy win against Pullis’ side and The Hornets will know they will have to put in a shift in this one if they plan on coming away with all the spoils. Brighton travel to Arsenal on the back of a much-needed win last weekend with this game being a bit of a ‘free hit’ for them. No-one expects an away win here so no doubt Hughton will be telling his team to go out there and play with an air of freedom and take Wenger’s side on. Its nailed on now that if you get the first goal against them, the fans will turn like someone infected with the T-virus on their own team.

Considering their outlay in the summer, Everton fans will be disappointed with their season so far. With all the new players coming in they hoped for big things this season. With so many new faces it is very difficult to bed all these players in immediately. As we saw when Spurs squandered the Gareth Bale money, this only tends to work on Football Manager. Burnley have enjoyed their travels to Merseyside this season after getting a very creditable point at Anfield a few weeks ago. Can they go one better and take all three this time? Quizzing an Everton fan on their summer signings gives us perfect link to their local rivals, another bad defence, Liverpool. It seems like a reoccurring bad dream for Klopp no doubt, he probably goes to the cinema to watch IT to cheer himself up. With the return of Mane, Liverpool will be looking for a win on Tyneside this weekend. Despite a hit and miss start to the season, the German’s team still find themselves fifth in the table and in the mix at this stage. At the other end of the pitch they need to start being more clinical as it is no good creating all these chances if they cannot put them away. Will Klopp rue not addressing the club’s issues in not having a striker capable of 20+ goals this season? One thing is for sure, if they plan on being in next season’s Champions League, these are the sort of games you have to win…………FACT!