“And you claim to be there for the Northampton game?”

by Chris Tobin

Kenny Dalglish, the father and head of the Liverpool family, has ceremoniously been chucked onto the Anfield Road – with belongings in tow, a glint of silver was seen half-hanging out of his suitcase, alongside a sign which said “THIS WAS ONCE ANFIELD”.

One wonders what Mr Cameron would make of all this. All those children now left fatherless, wandering around the streets and the internet, feral-like without the slightest direction. God himself only knows how these poor unfortunates will end up – well other than seated on a stage being questioned by the less questionable Jeremy Kyle.

In a season that has seen such ferocity between our supporters with opinions about whether to sack Dalglish raising their sorry heads from as far back as December, only to be counter charged with lessons in history and manners. Interestingly those same “Supporters” who called for Daddies head are now claiming tears of sadness – on reading tweets from the man himself.

Personally I would like to see one huge Jeremy Kyle show, where all these alleged supporters take a lie detector test, to remind them of deadly deeds and disrespectful tones over many months – you can see it now “The test is wrong” yeah!!!

More importantly I would also insist on a DNA test for these sorry specimens – adolescent youth who seem to perpetuate themselves with every idiotic sentence which leaves their heads. I want proof that indeed they are part of the same family, the same institute that I and many others have been part of since birth. I am imagining Mr Kyle coming back with a few hundred thousand DNA results cards – I am sorry you are not a son or daughter of LIVERPOOL – It’s confirmed with a 99.9% surety that neither Bill, Bob, Joe nor Kenny could be your father, as they scuttle off the stage crying “how could my mother do this to me?” I myself shout and scream at the T.V – Get in you bastard.

So I am being a tad extreme, mainly in annoyance at these poor deluded sorts. We become more and more like Chelsea & United with each passing year, well off the field anyway. Mr Henry and Mr Werner in the guise of FSG seem intent on making us much more like those whom we detest with venom. Maybe they just don’t get what it means to us, we have always ridiculed America in terms of footballing ability, and in the way that they cannot separate our beautiful game from the word SOCCER. This however is deeper than a disinclination of Americanism’s and such rhetoric.

At this moment in time Liverpool Football Club is once again [we have been here before] the target of ridicule and a media frenzy toward its anguish, but who can blame them? FSG keep loading the bullets into this seemingly endless chamber – those promises, yes those same promises that a certain pair of Texas cowboys gave us, only for them to be delivered with a large pinch of sodium chloride.

Where are the plans to our new stadium, or where are the plans to our current stadium? They seem to know exactly where the exit doors are, having used them with a monotonous regularity over the last two months, to shove out many from the higher echelons of the clubs hierarchy, culminating with Kenny Dalglish.

Will any new manager be given that commodity that Dalglish did not get – time? We take a step backwards now this is for sure, no matter which way you choose to view it. This year we have been to Wembley three times, which included two cup-finals, acquiring one trophy.

My guess would be that FSG don’t really give a hoot about silverware – the prize will be Champions League qualification, as of course that’s where the dollar is. Everybody sings this hymn about Fenway being winners – in fact ruthless winners – but I beg to differ.

If we take The Boston Red Sox as an example; yes initially they would win The World Series of Baseball in 2004 and once again in 2007 – this was a team that had not won since 1918 – but can we really compare our football club on that basis? Even if you believe we can, then how have FSG performed since 2007 for Boston? Well they have built a very profitable franchise but what have this franchise won in 5 years? Nothing.

They did initially build and invest but they are a business and they want a return, they have proved they will do whatever they feel necessary to achieve this financial goal.

Liverpool Football Club is a completely different prospect to The Boston Red Sox – their history was akin to maybe Newcastle United a few years ago. My concern is that the new manager will be taxed with getting a top four finish above all and forget about those little silver things. Expect some very difficult nights this season with defeats at the likes of Burnley and maybe a worrying night at Anfield against Northampton – you get what you wish for.

If it is more about dollars than anything else, we will end up with a cheaper version of what we really require. There was a time Liverpool could attract any manager worthy of the tag BEST – not now though we will have to settle for someone who is untried at the very top. FSG themselves have said they wanted someone younger to lead the project – if that is the new strategy all well and good, but for all our sakes give them time.

Remember what Dalglish said “I would not swap the Carling Cup for anything” – was this from a man being told to disregard silver as FSG have no interest in it? Was this something he was unable to accept and told them so? Dalglish does not do weakened teams for he was always a winner – like Shankly before him, every game meant something.

What Kenny also knew about, was the family, those supporters who craved a trophy – any bloody trophy. He would give them a trophy in a season where Manchester United won nothing. That will do for most.

The Liverpool way has always been to keep things in-house, and to be fair to FSG I believe they have done this for the most part. Christ nobody can blame them for being unable to control that imbecile Dave “Whacky” Whelan, who it is now clear on agreeing terms for any future deal with Roberto Martinez  would be straight on the phone to Sky Sports.  A very small-minded chairman, at an equally small club, whose self-promotion knows absolutely no bounds.

I have agreed with most of those dispensed with, but Dalglish is a step too far; you don’t give a manager a three-year plan then rip it up after one, but if you do then you find your own cojones, hold them tightly and apologise for what are clearly your own mistakes. Otherwise you need to join the queue for DNA alongside the many others and await the results from Jeremy.

Over to you for Mr Henry & Mr Werner

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